in the end, everyone wants to wake up

cuzcarasays @ 2007-03-08T13:25:00

2007-03-08T19:15:48Z

"Liberals and Godless tax raisers are tryin to make me look bad by using such things as "Facts" and "Scientific Data"
CUT!
What?
Mr. President you can't say they're using facts. Facts are real, they're not disputed.
How do you know that?"

CLICK HERE TO WATCH ->
http://www.virb.com/lauralynn73/videos/1135

cuzcarasays @ 2007-03-01T23:56:00

2007-03-02T05:45:43Z

http://www.myspace.com/iwantantlers
Please, listen. My friend Sam's brother's new project with Luna from Def Harmonic.

cuzcarasays @ 2007-02-15T13:54:00

2007-02-15T19:43:43Z

cuzcarasays @ 2007-02-02T17:58:00

2007-02-02T23:47:13Z

you can't be my friend if you play in the dirt, and its your own damn fault if you end up getting hurt.
i'm two times stronger on only half of the power, so clean up your act and take a bath or a shower.

cuzcarasays @ 2006-06-11T16:15:00

2006-06-11T21:07:12Z

friends only. comment to be added.

cuzcarasays @ 2006-06-10T02:48:00

2006-06-10T07:40:43Z

"maybe ive been playing the part of a falling stone who tries to catch the wind"
-cLOUDDEAD

cuzcarasays @ 2006-06-06T01:16:00

2006-06-06T06:09:03Z

You said you'd be my dream
I could have you every night
And if by morning I'd forgotten you
Well, no big deal, that'd be all right
'Cause you're the re-occuring kind
You are the re-occuring kind
You never really leave my mind

bright eyes

cuzcarasays @ 2006-06-03T16:27:00

2006-06-03T21:26:36Z

"You don't want me to see you leave. Your exit is well concealed, even from me.
I can't sleep. I'm writing you those letters that I promised. Every single one is named but addressless."

cuzcarasays @ 2006-05-30T16:09:00

2006-05-30T21:09:59Z

things i want to do before i die:

-take a roadtrip across the united states in a car with no air conditioning in the summer time
-see adam gnade live
-meet nick torres of northstar
-have a conversation with adam 'doseone' drucker about his music
-make a new variation of creme brulee
-take a nap on the grass in a crowded public park
-help a family in mexico have a better life
-aquire a southern accent
-learn to play the mandolin

more. im tired of writing this.

"yes darling, i will live up to my potential"

cuzcarasays @ 2006-05-25T00:39:00

2006-05-25T05:33:21Z

so heres the deal. i have some lyrics here, by 'deep puddle dynamics'. theyre an anticon group that consists of alias, doseone, sole and slug [of atmosphere]. these are some pretty amazing words to live by. so if you would please take the time and read them, thanks.

sole:
okay everyone, put away your boyish desires, your bouyant sighs,
your rolling eyes, your lust for rolling rock.
your lust for getting rocks off with other's follies,
all your desires for couch and tv, pick up a book, pick up a shovel.
put down the gun, throw the fist.
throw intelligent words in this game of conversation.
try a new arrangement, dollars and sensibility,
intelligence and ability, eloquence and nobility, delicatessens.
treat your girl like you treat your tv.
how you should use your headphones as positive role models.
try staying home, stop trying to prove, stop trying to be,
stop trying to do, just be, prove, do, and exist.
go to college, respect your mother, look out for your little sister,
respect no one except yourself.
treat all others how you expect in return,
exercise intellect, if you lack it, pretend.
call few people enemies and call fewer people friends.
don’t do it for the wealth, do it all for the love.
love everything you do, and do nothing half-heartedly.
be what you speak, man, never speak on what you be.
even if you’re lost, front like you got a plan.
it ain't that hard, but stand if you’re ready to be a man.

dose one:
i come to you with one heart broken in two,
lashed hands, and many flaw, a man.
in return i ask only an ego that's unbiased listen,
to what i speak of, offers freedom from mind,
freedom from a focused impulse, free.
and not at all the spangled, yankee-doodle,
union, musket, and compass sense of liberty
which our forefathers in holy-wood have fed and sold us for scores.
i’m eluding, and rightfully so, to salvage clear-headedness
of composed fated state of human being no grand inquisitor myself.
i pour forth a pensive, frown upon and frustrated, humble, however furious.
this reason for being here, this well you’ve found is phenomenal alone.
in the immortal words of oliver wendell holmes,
"a mind that is stretched to a new idea never returns to its original dimension."
simplistically, topsoil is no seashell full of bitter ocean body, but it can be.
changing for and from, triumph to mystery, every somehow has a place,
where you dare not set foot and can’t see a thing.
so weave those silver threads into soul-leveled bonds,
and be unbounded no longer,
manipulative, let it go. go, let the wandering take it all in.
generate, make you yours, my masters, my pupils, my equals,
drop, decorate, i implore you, just think.

alias:
let me address you with two conflicting topics at this moment,
two paths, i’ve roamed it. intention to hit home with this discussion.
and make you pawn to strengthen your words,
not talking racial connotation, but loosely tied with bees and birds.
also loosely tied with opposites, the depths of negativity in your soul.
let it take control and you can see deeper into the hole,
of self-destruction, it's obstruction of the opposite feeling.
my fellow men and women, it's love and hate with which we are dealing.
i’ve experienced both words, let’s ponder my theory and thought,
on these two and the correlation that each other has brought.
i’ve sought the answer and i’ve found hate is stronger than love,
i love to hate you, i hate to love you. hate always ends up above.
it’s much easier to say you hate than to say you love a person,
but easier to say you love material or love currency when it’s dispersin'.
i’ve realized long ago that neither word is a delicate topic so
hence the circle on my finger, i.d.o., on that day was my flow.
and although i see many problems in my fellow man,
hatred of others is absolutely not my master plan.
my other spiritual half has taught me much about my true feelings.
i was slipping into mental remission but was brought into the healing process.
i consider myself blessed when i think,
floating up above the majority makes others look like they stink.
hating, you give up nothing, love, you give it up all,
so i smirk at all of ya'll while you await my downfall.

slug:
condescending,
the lake dove into when you finally acknowledge that i’m not pretending.
follow the language, the direction, the dialect,
the cadence, the enunciation, emphasis, pretentiousness.
assumptions, makin an ass of you,
point a in the air you share with me,
point b, now draw a straight line connecting us.
wait, wait man, who’s not paying attention?
see, class here’s the problem,
ya'll all need to stop resting and collectin' dust.
my stance resembles anger but no your perception’s crooked,
now be some good little bastards, turn your textbooks to page seven.
where it reads that god got drunk, drove heaven into a tree,
now there’s no reasons left for you to continue to breathe.
haha, just joking, only trying to see who’s listenin'.
now heads up, time to test the potential of your faults.
and the results will stay confidential,
for as long as you face the front of your self-esteem,
lose focus, get broken at the seams.
let’s open up the discussion for comments to complement
your circumcised mind state while i write on your anxieties.
trying to speak to the class and justify the act
of pointing my finger at your head and asking you "what the fuck is that?!"
thank you, thank you.

cuzcarasays @ 2006-05-21T12:15:00

2006-05-21T17:10:34Z

"you know my build
you know my size
the degree to which my eyes are astigmatic"

theres a point in time where you know that everything is right where its supposed to be

but that point isnt here yet. im still waiting.

cuzcarasays @ 2006-05-17T23:15:00

2006-05-18T04:44:47Z

"you spoiled little brat. i'll wake you up if it takes every ounce of...
stop crying."
he's crying, poor thing.

cuzcarasays @ 2006-05-17T21:09:00

2006-05-18T02:05:19Z

the erosions cries cause
make whiskers prematurly sprout in men
and in women,
homogenize complexion,
until the whole face is washed
with a slight mascara tint.
your face never forgets a cry
like trace remnants of acid in your spine.

cuzcarasays @ 2006-05-15T22:21:00

2006-05-16T03:14:40Z

Id like to see you
But really I should stay away
And let you settle down
I’ve got no claims to your crown
I was the boss of you
And I loved you
You know I loved you
It’s all over now

I was there for you
When you were lonely
I was there when you were bad
I was there when you were sad
Now it’s my time of need
Im thinking, do I have to plead to get you by my side?

cuzcarasays @ 2006-05-13T15:53:00

2006-05-13T20:45:54Z

dont make me not care about you
cause then i'll laugh at you
and youll get your feelings hurt

cuzcarasays @ 2006-05-08T22:08:00

2006-05-09T03:12:52Z

"maitre, maitre, watch your step. no one can go on being a rebel too long without becoming an autocrat."
-lawrence durrell, balthazar
from tank magazine

"the house is silent - clocks tick - cars drive by - birds chirp - the refrigerator whirs - the heat revs to life - the house settles and creaks. the chair settles under my weight - sounds of creaking and adjusting metal - the rustle of fabrick on leather. i had forgotten what it was like to be alone."
-exerpt from the chair by samantha cleaver

cuzcarasays @ 2006-05-02T17:31:00

2006-05-02T22:24:28Z

"never would i have guessed that this would make me think so much about every little thing i encounter or witness.
so much to be reminded of, and so little time to just sit and ponder."

cuzcarasays @ 2006-04-30T16:25:00

2006-04-30T21:23:40Z

"I counted all the lights
They don't shine as bright
They don't pierce the night like you do
Like you do, like you do"

ohhh. damnit. i dont know what to do.

cuzcarasays @ 2006-04-29T14:25:00

2006-04-29T19:21:05Z

"have you looked in the mirror lately? cause youve changed, yeah. youve changed."

cuzcarasays @ 2006-04-07T09:39:00

2006-04-07T14:43:37Z

im going to have lily change the bottom of my hair tonight i think. i dont think i like it. im going to make it peicey-er. a bit more like that girl from toni&guy at mayfair mall.
i should just go to mayfair mall tomorrow with chelsea and ask cool-tony&guy girl to do it. i mean, we are going that direction anyways. i think, at least.
i listened to the rooney cd 9 times last night. im sick of it but i dont have anything else to listen to really. i mean i do, but i dont know. i need new music. preferably jose gonzalez, audibles new EP [which is in the mail, by the by], and every time i die's 'hot damn!'
maybe thats what ill get with the money from jenny. either that or ill just save that for turntables and a horse in germany.

cuzcarasays @ 2006-03-25T01:21:00

2006-03-25T07:14:38Z

This is the story of the boys who loved you
Who love you now and loved you then
Some were sweet, some were cold and snuffed you
Some just laid around in bed.

Some had crumbled you straight to your knees
Did it cruel, did it tenderly
Some had crawled their way into your heart
To rend your ventricles apart
This is the story of the boys who loved you

cuzcarasays @ 2006-03-23T16:33:00

2006-03-23T22:27:18Z

youre just old news
but they say that history repeats itself

cuzcarasays @ 2006-03-20T19:06:00

2006-03-21T01:03:15Z

dose one:
out for the view..
i can gather myself once as a very fairly small human,
mouth made out of glass. i am my habitat,
antidote and what ripped his face off wasn't even a pain killer,
faceless and a boyish numb uncomfortable, he can't sit.
artificial day skeleton keeps him up all night (up all night),
puts himself away. he...
a wise man once said, "fuck 'em if they can't take a joke."
there is a me, in every kindergarten, and there is a me,
bigger than a raccoon, smaller than a building, smaller still, smaller still,
afloat with music on..
better feeling, "aw, who you tellin'!"

"everything happens for a reason.
i promise to never get paint on my glasses again.
"you can't rip art 'cause it's just art."
the blood, the ink, ahh yes, the ink can bury a blade.
is this not the end of a blizzard twice the size of a rain cloud gone bad?
i'm burning puddle after puddle after puddle..."

i wonder what my mother looked like pregnant,
i've classified water damage as art.
ruining things, trilobite out on the town painting things,
in accordance with my weird ordinance.
my style is glass cutter, delicate/intense.
why, i haven't the mind for books,
shooting out the moonlight with my tongue,
depression in a vacuum. chest pains and violent nightmares,
brought me to this patch of grass and sun.
beauty is in the dead bolt,
i'm a lonely frontier boy, sordid terminal man.
primitive doll making and suspicious plant eater ogling at the magnetism.
a nibbler with cheap shades on and no contacts in.
pack leading nuissance with a way with kids, open envelope..

"bringing sand to the beach" cutting off...
"the difference between motion and action" moving out...
"bringing sand to the beach"

watching all the book toe be get quiet,
'til we both avoid eye contact together,
running into sitting people i sold tickets with.
i'll have one of your finest coffees
and a table for one in the dark.
writing on the bag i bought stuff in...

sole:
all these suckers today

dose one:
phone calls tomorrow

sole:
take out the garbage

dose one:
briefcase with issues

sole:
i am my name tag

dose one:
a party with loans out

sole and dose one:
credit! be or be broken, let artists clear stables.
i don't make up the check!
words, i just live here,
same stuff, different part of the mess.

sole:
disowned collection, joined metronome, leave monotone alone,
i am the master of the works and all their whereabouts.
portable leash for the implement, grand unveilment.
if the chisel breaks, it's got to be loud enough to sustain the builder.
we..

dose one:
oooffff...talk it out,
token go getters go get it enamored with something to..ughhhhh...
risk in the winning folk, subtle yet solemnly..ahhhhh..
extinction of saturdays inward to inward.
its confidence, i'll work for now...yeaahhhh...

sole:
i open the doors with no physical force.
zip codes ain't permanent, i can roam 'em all simultaneously.
real hard work comes easily, invest carefully.
rest this weak spell, a recipe, on the travel i broke the rulers.
dancing with no shoes across this everyday stage,
these everyday non-coincidence brought about by
living and doubting nothing special.
we need a real war, give me a field, a field day
and i only have time for explosions.

dose one:
sleeping baggage, cat in my lap, a card at play,
help to a promise, dove in the subway.
loose change, in held, loose leaf, dormat.
wearing the fake nose glass, mustache..
hide behind this blade or under this sky,
it's like in the movies except for no ending.

sole:
yeah, i urinate in a cup for the art of it,
and you'll dissect all of it.

dose one:
i water storage, poet like desert.

sole:
there's a lightbulb in my skull that dies everytime i try to look down or rest.

dose one:
all cat owner can do is laugh at circus material.

sole:
never want to open my eyes, the world only furthers my argument.

dose one:
in searching for the perfect flat, i feel so concerned.

sole:
nobody wins, you're all walking pictures of foot in mouth.

dose one:
although a unicorn ride would charm.

sole:
let's call it hip hop, you don't got to be innercity or inbred.

dose one:
or clear my skies like desert.

sole:
i'm in the state of "yo," my peeps, they gather at the borders.

dose one:
waiting up all night for bills.

sole:
if this is supposed to be a revolution, where are my..? why don't you just..?

dose one:
one man's floor is another man's floor with a pillow on it.

sole:
and sure, the invisible enemy is a thirteen year old computer hacker.

dose one:
times are hard, keeping a fish tank alive is harder.

sole:
and i'm supposed to be some sort of anti-christ.

dose one:
people like me most happy.

sole:
well if that's true, why am i hellbound at the pearly gates?

dose one:
the spoon king in the soup, drought like desert.

both:
it's all the same shit but they call it clouddead,
i only got two hands and half a head..

cuzcarasays @ 2006-03-18T14:33:00

2006-03-18T20:27:37Z

What I will confess, however, is how you've worn your presence into me more than you've worn those frayed jeans sitting casually at your hips.

i miss a ridiuclous amount of things.
im working at it.

cuzcarasays @ 2006-03-15T23:00:00

2006-03-16T04:58:14Z

the music's loud, in your room, turn it down
there's a neighbor who can't take it any more
I'll take your hand, in another one night stand
there's a lot for us to figure out

so if this is how it ends, well lock the door behind you then and let
me down easy

The music's loud in your room turn it down, but the more we talk, the
less we understand

i dont understand.